Fade Away and Rise Anew
by Nienyan
Summary: The price for victory can be too high, and when the battle at Ghardia Shaft does not go as hoped, Asbel is left broken. A year later, he is awarded a second chance, but it is shrouded in doubt… and carries the promise that darker times are yet to come. [Asbel/Richard, AU]
1. Prologue

**Fade Away and Rise Anew**

**Prologue**

All he could see was an eerie blue glow.

For a moment, it blinded him, making him forget where he was - even though the blueness itself should have been the greatest reminder of his quest. It quivered, trembled, as if conscious that its very existence was compromised. It seemed to weep for the fate of the world.

Meanwhile, Asbel lay stretched on his back, choking on his own blood. It took him insurmountable strength to roll to his elbows and knees, and to cough a torrent of crimson on the stone floor. There, he stopped, refusing to look up, up towards the blinding light. He wanted the giant blue orb - the Lastalia - to disappear from his vision. He wanted everything to disappear; every event that led to this, he wanted them gone. He wanted Ephinea to be safe, and he wanted his beloved friend back.

Yes, he wanted Richard back - the man that, at this very moment, lunged towards him with bloodlust in his eyes.

The poised claws aiming for Asbel's throat gave him enough adrenaline to jump out of the way. But it was a desperate, reckless jump, and the burst of pain he felt upon hitting the hard ground blurred his sight and paralyzed his body. Unable to move, all he could think of was Richard, about to tear his neck open. He would die at the hands of the one he swore his life to protect.

"_Asbel!"_

A small figure suddenly appeared, crashing against Richard and sending him flying. Sophie's fall was more graceful than Asbel's, but she still panted and trembled from exhaustion. In unsteady feet, she shuffled towards him and held out both hands. Asbel immediately felt the warm sensation that indicated he was being healed.

"I'm sorry, I was trying to heal Cheria…"

"It's fine. You're doing your best." Asbel would have spent longer encouraging Sophie, but they did not have enough time. Soon, Richard would be standing again - no matter how much they fought, he always got back on his feet, his face darker and more hateful every time - and once he did, chatting would not be an option. "How are the others?"

Sophie shook her head. "Everyone's still down. I couldn't even get Cheria to wake up… And the Captain was bleeding so much, Asbel. Will they all be okay?"

He felt a knot in his throat. Sophie's eyes were glassy, as if in the brim of tears, even though he had never seen her cry. Asbel himself felt like sobbing; the battle had gone on for too long. His initial resolve and determination were all but gone, having started to crumble on the moment the first member of the group fell. He remembered Pascal rolling across the floor, crashing against a boulder and making a noise so haunting that Asbel had tasted bile. He remembered Cheria running towards her, only to be knocked unconscious by a dark arte. He remembered Hubert and Malik falling as well, but these memories were vague. By that point, his mind had already been hazy with pain and the nauseating smell of blood.

Only Sophie and he remained, and they were strained almost to the breaking point. There was never enough of an opening for any of their allies to be healed, and each and every time Richard lunged at them, they felt one step closer to death. Asbel had lost hope, and he was in the brink of giving up. Only a miracle could—

"_Sophie!"_

Asbel's eyes went wide with terror as the girl was flung through the air to fall limp on the floor. He kept watching, hoping for a sign of consciousness. She did not move.

Tears clouded his vision, and he screamed, "Damn you, Lambda!" Rage allowed him to stand, the pain he felt at seeing Sophie motionless overwhelming the pain of his bruised, bloody limbs. "Give Richard back!"

Richard's lips twisted into a cruel, mocking grin. It always hurt Asbel to see his gentle features form such a ghastly expression, and he cursed Lambda in the back of his mind as he darted at him with his sword unsheathed.

His blow was easily dodged, and Asbel lost his balance and tumbled forward. Richard - no, _Lambda_ - laughed at him as he fell on his hands and knees, and Asbel gritted his teeth at the awful sound that tainted Richard's voice.

Getting up was even harder this time, but Lambda held his ground as Asbel struggled to recover his stance. That smirk was still there, the smirk that said _'I could have killed you just now, I could have killed you long ago, but I want to play with you a little more.'_ He knew Asbel had no chance of defeating him. To him, Asbel was but an insect, one he would toy with only to prove his superiority.

That thought almost brought tears back to Asbel's eyes. Was he wasting his last few breaths? Was everything doomed already? Was Richard so truly gone, that no matter how hard he tried, he could not bring him back?

Were all his efforts in vain?

Asbel felt trails of warmth on his cheeks, and he knew he was weeping again. His sword seemed about to slip from his hand, his fingers too weak to keep a grip on it. "I-I'm so sorry, Richard," his voice was broken, shaky, his words almost sobs themselves, "I couldn't save you. And it's my fault. You were everything to me, and yet I didn't realize how much you were suffering. If I had noticed… I would have done anything to make you happy…"

The smirk was gone from Richard's face, and he lunged towards him. Asbel's hand tensed around the hilt of his sword as he closed his eyes. He had failed, and he would die along with his friends, leaving the one who needed him the most behind.

Something collided against Asbel. He felt the impact on his arm - an impact that came through his blade. Opening his eyes, he realized clawed hands were holding his own - which, in turn, held the hilt of his sword.

And its blade was buried deep in Richard's stomach.

Asbel was frozen. Unbelieving, he watched as scarlet blood seeped from Richard's pale skin, trailing down his weapon. When the hot liquid touched Asbel's fingers, reality finally settled in, and he screamed in horror while pulling the sword away.

No longer supported by the blade that had been piercing his body, Richard fell forward. Asbel cried out, abandoning his weapon to the floor in order to hold him. Richard's weight, however, was too much for Asbel's weak legs, and they both collapsed to the ground.

Trying to breathe through the knot in his throat - _Richard is back and he tried to kill himself in order to save me_ - Asbel shuffled to sit, bringing Richard close to his chest. They both were covered in red from the gaping wound in Richard's stomach. Shaking, Asbel leaned down, until he was able to hear soft, ragged breathing - Richard was still alive, but for how long? Asbel knew no medicine in his possession would heal a gash this deep. Only Sophie's or Cheria's artes could do something for him now. He would have to run—

"As… bel…"

He gasped. Looking down, he saw Richard's eyes were struggling to open, while his trembling lips tried to form words.

"I'm… sor… ry…" His voice was faint and hoarse, barely audible. But, for the first in a long time, it did not carry Lambda's taint. "I… hurt… you…" - he coughed blood - "s-so… much…"

"R-Richard… Richard! No, don't apologize, it wasn't your fault, it wasn't…!" Asbel blinked back tears, trying to keep himself from panicking. He brought Richard even closer to him, and spoke with as much confidence as he could muster, "H-Hang on! I'll get Sophie, and she will—"

"N-No…" Richard interrupted, "It's… too late… Asbel…" One of his hands was clutching the front of Asbel's shirt weakly; it had pale, delicate fingers, so unlike the sharp dark claws from before. His hair, in turn, was regaining its golden color, and other signs of Lambda's transformation were disappearing. "I-I'm… sorry…"

"Don't say that, Richard!" Asbel was almost shouting, but his shaky voice lacked the conviction his words tried to carry. He placed his hand over Richard's, pressing it against his own chest. "S-Sophie will heal you! She's probably waking up right now, I-I'll go get her—"

"P-Please don't leave me," Richard's voice was breaking as well, but he lacked the strength to cry. "There's nothing… nothing she can do for me," he stopped, coughing more blood. He pressed his eyes shut, his expression full of pain. "…D-Don't leave me…"

Asbel's tears were rolling down his cheeks, dripping from his chin and falling on Richard's face. "I-I won't." His voice faltered. How could it be happening? "I won't leave you. Ever." He wanted to scream. Richard was _back_, he was in his arms, alive and breathing and… He couldn't… He couldn't… "I'll always be by your side. Don't go, Richard." He sobbed. "Please don't go."

Richard mustered a melancholic smile with what little strength he had left. His eyes were losing focus, his gaze missing in the distance. "Thank you… Asbel…" His voice grew fainter with every word. "For… never… giving up… on me…" He paused, closed his eyes, and took one last, deep breath.

"I've always… loved you… Asbel—" There was silence. Richard's breathing ceased. Asbel held on to his motionless body, in a daze. He could not turn his eyes away from his frozen smile, his closed eyelids, his pale white features. He did not save him. He brought Richard to his death.

He screamed.

Clinging to Richard's body, Asbel screamed, cried, shouted a thousand incoherent words. They were the feelings he had bottled up until it was too late, words that had gone too long unspoken, desperate pleads for Richard to return, promises of forever if he did. Asbel kissed his cold, motionless lips, again and again and again, as if some fairy tale magic could bring his friend, his best friend, his love, back to life. He wept, wept so many tears over Richard's lifeless body, wept as he held him with every last bit of his failing strength.

However, despite how tired his arms were, Richard's body only seemed to be getting lighter.

Asbel opened his eyes, tried to blink back the tears, to suppress the sobbing that shook him so much he could barely see. Finally, he looked at Richard.

His body was translucent, as if formed by loosely connected particles. A trail of eleth linked him to the core, and slowly, more and more eleth particles seeped out of his body and towards the giant blue mass of light.

"N-No…" Asbel held him tighter, pressed him against his chest. "Don't take him away!"

Yet despite his pleading, Richard grew lighter and dimmer with every second. Asbel clung to his body desperately, weeping, begging for a stop to whatever cruel force that attempted to steal the last remains of his best friend.

But it never stopped. After a while, Asbel's arms held only empty air. Richard was gone.

And Asbel was left with nothing.


	2. Glimpse of Hope

**Note:** This should have been chapter 1, given that the previous is only a prologue. But in order to avoid confusion with the automatic chapter numbering system, I'll be calling it chapter 2.

**Chapter 2**

**Glimpse of Hope**

Time moves on, even when you no longer feel alive. It does not wait, no matter how painful every sunrise may be.

And, despite your pleading, time never unwinds.

* * *

Asbel opened his eyes, dreading the start of a new day.

He was used to it. Every morning, for a whole year, he had awakened to the same crushing pain in his chest. Sometimes, there would also be tears, silent and resigned. Occasionally, he screamed in his sleep, often plagued by nightmares. Rarely, he dreamed of Richard - alive and smiling - and upon waking, that would be the time the pain was the worst.

For the first few days after the events at Ghardia Shaft, he had refused to move, not even leaving his bed. He would not eat and he barely drank, until he fell so ill his friends had to force medicine and nourishment down his throat. They yelled at him, urging him to see reason, claiming that Richard would never want him to hurt himself - but he ignored them. Richard was dead, killed by his own blade, and unable to want _anything_ ever again. Only when Asbel heard Sophie cry, cry because she did not want to lose another friend, was he able to force himself to live.

However, he could not force himself to feel alive.

Asbel left Lhant in Hubert's care - he knew a man unable to smile could not hope to become a good lord. He then departed, intent on aiding the nova monsters exterminations. Sophie wanted to accompany him, but he asked her to stay. Asbel knew his misery would only make her suffer.

And so, for the following months, fighting kept him sane. The nova monsters were part of the reason Richard was gone, and the hate Asbel felt for those creatures was the only thing that could make him forget his endless grief. He killed as many as possible, fought until he could no longer stand, kept going even as reason told him to stop. He was reckless, and he cared not about how much he risked his life.

After all, Asbel was a man waiting to die.

Shifting in his bed, he left his blankets and changed. It was early, and it would be a while before all the knights in the camp were ready to move out, but lying still only made him feel worse. Outside his tent, the sky was a dull gray. He hoped the weather would not delay their assault.

Asbel wandered aimlessly around the camp as he waited. Muffled gossip followed his steps; he had a reputation among the knights. The man who aided the retaking of the throne, close friend to the deceased king, and a lord who forsook his title in mourning. Some thought him righteous; others saw him as a fool. Either way, Asbel did not care.

Hurried steps soon caught his attention. He turned, and saw a young trainee knight approaching him.

"Asbel Lhant!" - the boy announced between puffs - "Your presence is requested in the Lieutenant's tent!"

Asbel nodded vaguely, and headed to the center of the camp. He did not bother feeling curious. Whatever orders they had for him, he would carry them out. As long as he was allowed to fight, nothing else mattered.

He stepped inside the tent - and was taken by surprise.

"Long time no see, Asbel."

"...Captain Malik. Why are you here?"

Malik's smile, which had already faded a little when he saw Asbel's dejected expression, disappeared completely at his cold words. "I have important news, Asbel. Why don't you take a seat?"

Asbel looked around the empty tent, and obeyed without a word. Once he was settled, Malik started, "Recently, Fourier discovered a new bird species."

Asbel frowned. "_That's_ your important news?"

"Let me speak, Asbel. I may no longer be an actual captain, but I would appreciate your respect."

Asbel looked down in shame, muttering an apology. He looked so abashed, Malik was tempted to walk over and hug him - but he knew Asbel no longer took well to affection. Therefore, he simply continued, "That species is unlike anything she has ever seen before. Any natural species, I mean. It, however, bears a striking resemblance to nova monsters."

Asbel's eyes widened. "Nova monsters? Are they dangerous? Is she okay?"

Malik shushed him. "She's perfectly fine, Asbel. They are as docile as nightingales. Still, it's a strange occurrence. They are certainly nova creatures. For the last month, she and Pascal have been trying to pinpoint their origin. And they finally figured it out - they seem to be flying off from a small island close to the World's Eye."

Asbel jumped up. "We must do something about it! There might be nova monsters breeding there!"

"We don't even know if nova monsters can breed, Asbel, but yes, we do intend to head there immediately. Pascal and Fourier have examined it from a safe distance, but they concluded that, if they are to find out more, they will need to get closer. The whole group is meeting up in Lhant, and we're taking the shuttle. We think it'll be safer if everyone is together - in case there is fighting."

Asbel clenched his fists. The idea of seeing his friends after so long unsettled him, but if the island was home to nova monsters… He needed to kill them.

Finally, he nodded. He would go.

* * *

Asbel watched as the small green dot in a sea of blue slowly grew larger. He was sitting at the back of the shuttle, leaning against the window. His half-opened eyes carried the same emptiness that had persisted for the past year.

The party left him alone. Fourier had no reason to bother him, too absorbed in her notes, and too impatient to deal with such a mopey man.

Malik had first-handedly experienced how bitter Asbel had become, and therefore did not attempt to exchange more words than necessary.

Hubert had not forgiven Asbel for his inability to move on, or for the way he burdened everyone around him with his grief, and so he avoided his older brother as intently as Asbel avoided him.

Pascal tried to cheer him up with a silly comment, which only made him mumble and look down; she sighed and joined the rest of the group.

Cheria, hesitant and almost scared, spoke to him. He could not bring himself to reply, and she walked away, almost as dejected as Asbel himself.

Sophie sat next to him and took his hand without a word. Asbel did not move or speak; he only blinked back tears, clutching her small fingers. After a while, he muttered something to her, and she nodded and walked away. When she turned to look at him, Asbel had his face in his palms. In Sophie's eyes, there was nothing but crushing helplessness.

And so, as he had requested, Asbel spent the rest of the flight alone.

The greenness of the island progressively loomed in, and now, it took most of Asbel's window. He could tell they were very close.

"We're going to land!" The announcement came from Pascal. They had surveyed the island for a while, approaching it at a steady pace, and had decided it was safe enough to step upon. Slowly, the shuttle descended. Through the windows, everyone watched the approaching ground with eagerness and apprehension.

However, even before they had finished landing, the party let out a collective gasp. The island was blooming with life, life unlike any they had ever seen. Trees and rabbits, flowers and butterflies, fruits and birds - creatures and plants that were familiar to them, yet in forms and colors that did not exist in any other place in the world. They all had certain distinctive features that resembled nova monsters, but all without the tainted, dark aspect. They came in vibrant, bright hues, and delicate, intricate forms. They seemed to be meticulously crafted and painted by the most dedicated artisan.

Yet unlike art pieces, they were alive - leaves were moist to the touch, flowers smelled sweet, birds sang, and small critters hopped away, hiding from the humans between brushes.

And, above all, not even the faintest sign of danger was present.

"This is weird," Pascal broke the silence. They had left the shuttle minutes ago, but no one had spoken; they all were too stunned to utter a word. "What do you make of it, sis?"

"How do you expect me to know without proper analysis?" scoffed Fourier, but despite her tone, she was clearly awed by the place. "I will collect samples. Pascal, take eleth measures. Meanwhile, the rest of you should search around the island for... anything even _more_ out of the ordinary." She settled the large bag she had with her on the grass, and began sorting through her instruments. "Report back to me as soon as you find anything. Now off with you all! You'll get in our way if you stay here. Shoo!"

Malik raised an eyebrow and Hubert grumbled, but they soon complied and headed away. Both Sophie and Cheria looked at Asbel - and both could tell he wanted to be alone. They also left, in another direction.

Asbel, in turn, had no desire to look for anything. He did not find what he expected - monsters that needed to be slain - and he felt without purpose. But Fourier glared at him, making it clear she did not want him around, and he was forced to move away from the landing site.

Between some trees, he found a clear trail. Asbel followed it, paying little heed to the birds' tweeting, or the squirrels that crossed his path. He ignored the surprising diversity among the life forms - each plant resembled a different species, with an incredible variety of flower and fruit; flocks of different birds sang, forming one complex tune that could rival any orchestra. He passed by rabbits, foxes, hedgehogs, and lemurs. And, eventually, he reached a clearing.

From afar, all he could see was a more illuminated area, devoid of trees. However, as he approached, he realized it was not all. In its center, a field of roses grew. They came in a variety of colors - white, yellow, pink, even unnatural ones such as blue and purple - but most were deep red. They formed a beautiful, bright carpet, shining under the afternoon sun. Even despite his detachment, Asbel felt their beauty tug at his heart.

He moved closer, until he stood at the edge of the rose field. Kneeling, he felt a petal between his fingers - it was soft and plump, exactly like a real rose. He gently plucked a red one - to his surprise, it had no thorns - and brought it to his nose. The smell was delicate and sweet.

Asbel took one last glance at the flower, and put it down. As pleasant as it was - as everything around him was - he could not truly enjoy it. He felt tired; the emptiness was taking over him again. He wanted to go back, back to where he could fight, where he could forget, even if only for a moment. Maybe Fourier and the others would be done by now - he would return to the shuttle and meet up with them.

Asbel stood, and turned around, towards the trail that he had taken before.

And only then did he realize he was not alone.

A man stood at the edge of the clearing, looking directly at Asbel. He was tall, and lean of build. His skin was almost as pale as the white tunic he wore. Golden hair that reached past his shoulders framed his fair face.

A face Asbel would never forget.

_Richard._


	3. To See Him Again

**Chapter 3**

**To See Him Again**

A soft breeze ruffled Richard's tunic, and his hair shone under the sun. He stood, motionless, looking at Asbel in confusion and wonder.

Asbel tried to speak, but choked on his own words. The only sound that managed to leave his mouth was a broken whimper. He rubbed at his teary eyes, shook his head, and debated if he was insane. But Richard was still there, waiting. Waiting for him.

And Asbel broke into a run.

His steps were clumsy and desperate, his breath coming in puffs. He reached out his hands when he got close, grasping at the front of Richard's tunic. The thin, soft fabric crumpled between his fingers, and Richard lost a little of his balance as Asbel tugged at his clothing.

But it meant he was real. Richard was really there.

Asbel cried out, tears pouring down his cheeks as he pulled Richard into an embrace. He clung to him, holding him as tightly as he could; he shouted his name over and over, and buried his face into his shoulder. He sobbed and wept as much as he did when he thought he had lost him. But this time, his body was warm. He was alive.

And yet, it took Richard a while to react. Even as Asbel kept him in an unyielding hold and cried against his shoulder, Richard remained still, the wonder in his eyes replaced by surprise. After a while, he moved his arms, and gently enveloped the trembling body that clung to him. He leaned his head forward, resting it against Asbel's. And, softly, he whispered his name.

Asbel choked back a sob as he heard Richard's voice, and he pulled him even closer, calling out his name in return. Soon, Asbel felt a hesitant hand run through his hair, caressing and comforting him; but everything Richard did to subside Asbel's outburst only roused him further.

How else was he supposed to react to his dead friend returning to life?

* * *

"_Did you hear that?!"_

"_It was Asbel's voice!"_

"_Quick, we must find him!"_

Hurried footsteps followed the forest trail. The prints left by Asbel's boots were clear, and aided the party in their search.

As they ran, dark thoughts loomed in their heads. Asbel had snapped. That was the only possible explanation for his screaming. Why else would he shout Richard's name so many times? Why would he cry out like he did?

Finally, they reached a clearing - and gasped in shock.

Asbel was not alone. In his arms, he held a man who bore an uncanny resemblance to Richard.

A myriad of shouts erupted, all breaking down to _'what in this world is happening?'_ They took a few tentative steps, but did not dare getting too close - what if it was an illusion, a trap? Eagerly, they waited for an explanation.

Upon hearing his friends' voices, Asbel raised his head and turned towards them. His cheeks were wet with tears, but he smiled, his face bright with happiness - an expression he had not displayed in a long time.

"Richard is here," he announced between sobs, still holding him. "He's here! He's alive! He's back!"

The party forgot their apprehension and dashed towards them. They stepped close, eyeing the stranger - Richard? - with disbelief. Soon, a chain of question was unleashed - _Is that really you, Your Highness? How are you alive? How did you get here, Richard? Asbel, how did you find him? What did he say? Richard, what do you know about this island? _

The pair was too overwhelmed to answer. Asbel tried to quell the party's anxiety, but Richard… he was gripping the front of Asbel's clothes with trembling hands. Slowly, he took small steps away, as if trying to hide behind his friend. And his eyes were wide, his expression like that of a cornered animal. Confused. Afraid.

As soon as they realized it, the questions stopped. Asbel, suddenly worried, turned to Richard, and said, "Are you okay? What are you scared of, Richard?"

Richard's wide eyes moved to Asbel. His mouth opened, but he struggled to find words. He raised one hand to point at the newcomers, the other still clinging to Asbel's shirt. After a while, he muttered, "P-Please… Get them away."

There was a round of surprised gasps and indignant exclamations, among claims that Asbel should step back from this false Richard. Asbel answered with a frown, and gestured for them to be quiet. He then held both of Richard's hands, and in a soothing tone, said, "You don't need to be afraid of them, Richard. They won't hurt you." Richard's eyes remained downcast, so Asbel continued, "You trust me, right? Please tell me what's wrong." No answer. "Speak to me, Richard, please. Can you tell me how you got here?"

Richard squeezed Asbel's hands and shook his head. The silence dragged on as he, once more, struggled to speak. Finally, he whispered, "I don't know."

The party exchanged glances, but Sophie was the one who voiced everyone's thoughts.

"Asbel… I think he is like me. Like I was. He… he doesn't remember. And he probably doesn't remember us, too."

Asbel felt a knot in his throat. "Richard… is that… is that true?"

Silence. It seemed forever until he finally closed his eyes and nodded, without a word.

"But…" The knot in Asbel's throat tightened, and his eyes stung. "You… you said my name. You said my name!"

Richard winced at Asbel's tone, and looked away in sorrow. "I… I don't remember anything. I did not even remember my own name until you called me by it. But… you were familiar. Your face was familiar, and I… I followed you. You saw me, and when you held me… I remembered your name. Asbel. That's all I could remember… Asbel."

When Richard finished speaking, the stinging in Asbel's eyes had given way to trails of tears. He leaned his head down and covered his face with his hands, weeping. He did not care about the many eyes that were locked on him, or what the people behind those eyes would think. He wept, not knowing whether it was joy - for, despite forgetting everything, Richard remembered him and only him - or sorrow - for all their moments together, everything that happened between them, was lost to his best friend.

But between his muffled sobs, Asbel felt arms around him, and this time, Richard was the one who pulled him into an embrace. "I'm sorry," he murmured, "I'm sorry, Asbel."

And then, Asbel realized it did not matter. Richard was with him - he was back, and in his arms. Somehow, he had been brought back to life, and that was more than anything Asbel could hope for. "I-It's okay," he finally replied, hugging him back. "Thank you, Richard. I missed you. I missed you so much." He lifted his head and wiped the tears from his face. Looking in his eyes, he said, "I'm just happy that you're here."

For the first time in their encounter, Richard smiled - shyly, but brightly. And Asbel knew, for that smile, he would pay any price.

* * *

Too many questions, too little answers. The party couldn't question Richard - not in his fragile state, much less with an overprotective Asbel around - so they decided to head back to the shuttle.

Richard eyed it with wonder, and held Asbel's hand tightly as they took off, looking out a window with both fear and curiosity in his face. Once they had spent enough time in cruise, he relaxed - and Fourier found her time to attack.

"Will you answer our questions now?"

Richard shrunk a little in his seat, and Asbel stepped up. "Do you really have to? He already told us he has no memories."

"He forgot how he arrived on the island, but how about after that? I, for one, need to know more about the life forms inhabiting it. Can you tell me anything about them, Richard?"

Richard swallowed, but Asbel's reassuring grip on his hand helped him speak. "What… what exactly would you like to know?"

Fourier sighed. "When you first realized your surroundings, how did the island look like? Was it any different from now?"

"Yes. It was mostly barren."

Her eyes glinted with the possibility of a new discovery, as she eagerly asked, "And how did it come to be so full of vegetation and animals?"

"I created them."

Silence fell over the group. If it wasn't for the matter-of-factly way Richard had spoken, some would've laughed; instead, his tone made eyes widen and jaws drop.

Fourier, however, only frowned. "Excuse me?"

"I created them," repeated Richard.

"You— _how?"_

Richard closed his eyes. For a while, he seemed to be deep in concentration, as if he were casting an Arte; but nothing happened. He opened his eyes, looking disappointed, and said, "I'm sorry. There is not enough eleth here." Fourier opened her mouth to speak, but before she had the chance to say a word, Richard added, "I'll create something simpler." He closed his eyes once more, and this time, he also cupped one of his hands, while covering it with the other. After a few moments, he opened his eyes, and spread his palms open.

They carried a number of small seeds.

The party gasped in unison. Fourier immediately reached out and took one of the seeds, examining it closely. "An apple seed… Or its nova equivalent. You… created a seed out of thin air." She could hardly believe her eyes.

"Not air. Eleth," Richard corrected. "I wanted an apple, but the eleth concentration here isn't high enough. I'm not sure if the seed will sprout… That was my first time making one. Usually, I prefer to create fully grown trees."

Fourier was still staring at the seed with wide eyes, so Pascal was the one to speak, "Hang on a moment, Richard! Does that mean you created _everything_ on that island? Down to the last little bug?"

He looked down in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I… I felt lonely. The island was empty, so I—"

"R-Richard, it's fine," Asbel interrupted, worry clear in his eyes. "What we mean is… how… how are you able to do it?"

"I simply can," he muttered quietly.

Silence followed; there was no need for words. They all understood the implications.

* * *

"This is ridiculous! He's _Richard!"_

"How can you be so sure, Asbel? It's clear he has Lambda's powers."

Asbel paced nervously around the study in Lhant Manor. The rest of the party took seats, but he could not bring himself to be still. "He's Richard! I know it! And we shouldn't alienate him by dumping him in the guestroom. He's already confused and scared, we aren't helping by excluding him from our meeting!"

"I urge you to see reason, Brother!" exclaimed Hubert, rising out of his chair. "How can you be so sure it's really him? You saw him die, didn't you? You said he stopped breathing. You claimed he faded away and disappeared, seeping into the core. And now a man - a _creature_, because no man can have that kind of power - appears, with no memories at all, and you insist it's Richard simply because they look alike?"

"_Shut up!"_ shouted Asbel, with so much fury Hubert went pale. "Don't you dare talk about Richard like that! He might have Lambda's powers, but it's him! He remembered me. It's him, I _know_ it! You think I wouldn't be able to recognize my best friend? He lost his memories, but I will help him remember. And if he doesn't…" - he drifted off for a moment, biting his lip - "…We'll just make new ones."

While his words still rung, Asbel stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"He's in denial," muttered Malik.

"He's an idiot," Hubert spat, "He's only going to suffer more by refusing to see it."

Gloom fell over the group, as everyone's eyes turned to the floor, knowing that Hubert was probably right.

"Sophie…" Cheria broke the silence, her voice gentle, "Can you feel Lambda's power in Richard? What do you make of him?"

The girl shifted in her place, unsettled. "I… I don't know. I can feel Lambda's power, but… it's faint, and… strange." She looked down. "I don't know what to think. He's really like Richard, and Richard is my friend. But, at the same time, he's different." A pause. "I want to have Richard back. But I don't want Asbel to be hurt."

Cheria hugged her. "We'll figure it out. Don't worry, okay?" Her tone, however, lacked the certainty of her words.

Pascal stepped up, "Well, whatever it is, we gotta investigate to find it out, right? Fourier, how long will you take to study those samples?"

"Without a proper laboratory, forever," she snorted, "Back at the enclave? Not long. But I doubt I'll find anything significant. Most of my questions were answered when _he_" - she all but spat the word - "proved to have created all of it."

"Well, we can drop you at the enclave," Pascal replied. "I want to check out the core myself. That's where Richard and Lambda went _poof_. There might be some hint there."

"We'll all go with you," Malik said. "The monsters at Ghardia Shaft are strong."

Hubert pushed up his glasses. "Asbel and Richard should stay. It's obvious that Richard is in no condition to be traveling around. As for my brother, I doubt he would want to help. He's too blinded by his own feelings to believe Richard is anything but himself."

"I dunno," Pascal said. "Maybe he'll want to go, in order to prove Richard is a-okay. We should ask him, just in case!"

"No," Malik cut her off. "We can't, Pascal. Richard can't be left alone in Lhant, and above all… he can't go with us."

_He cannot go, for he must not be taken to the core._

The words were left unspoken, but everyone knew - whatever Richard was, some part of Lambda was within him.


	4. Conviction and Uncertainty

**Chapter 4**

**Conviction and Uncertainty**

"Did you sleep well?"

Richard had been sitting on the bed, gazing out the window. Upon hearing Asbel's voice, he turned, and answered with a vague nod. Asbel was not very convinced - Richard's eyes were sullen and surrounded by dark circles. But there would be no use insisting.

"And my clothes? Are they comfortable?"

Once more, Richard nodded, but he actually seemed to mean it this time. His attire was simple - dark grey boots, brown pants, and a pale green shirt - but they fit him well. If he had his memories, their plainness would probably bother him, but in his current state, he did not mind.

"It's better for you to wear them instead of that tunic. It would draw too much attention," said Asbel, smiling timidly. "Um… how did you come across it, by the way?"

Richard looked down, and muttered, "I… I do not know. I've always had it, as far as I remember."

"…Oh. I see." Asbel scratched the back of his neck, not knowing what to say. Before the awkward silence dragged on for too long, he added, "Do you want breakfast?"

Richard's lips parted, but he pressed them shut before speaking, and his gaze fell again.

"Richard?"

"…Will they be there, as well?"

Asbel blinked in confusion. "They?"

"Your friends," Richard replied, hands fidgeting on his lap. "I… I do not think they are very fond of me."

"Richard…" Asbel sat by his side, and shyly took one of his hands. "It's not that they don't like you. They're just… concerned. They want to know what happened to you, and why you have that power."

Richard remained in silence, shifting his hand to interlace his fingers with Asbel's. He spent a while looking at their connected hands, with a melancholic expression. Then, he spoke, "And… don't you worry about that as well, Asbel?"

He did not have to think before answering. "I don't. I don't worry about it at all." He squeezed his hand. "You're here. That's all I care about. You're here, Richard."

Richard smiled, for the second time since his return - and, once more, it was able to lift Asbel's heart. "Thank you, Asbel. I'm… I'm happy that you found me."

Asbel smiled back, so large it was almost a grin. "Don't worry, Richard. You'll remember everything, I know you will." He stood, pulling Richard up with him. "Anyway, they all left this morning. They will be gone for a while, so we'll have a lot of time to spend together, just us two. Breakfast?"

Still smiling, Richard squeezed his hand, and they both left for the dining room.

Despite his amnesia, Richard ate with as much elegance as he used to. Every of his gestures were painfully familiar to Asbel, and he could only wonder how anyone was able to doubt his identity.

"Apple juice, Master Richard?"

Richard nodded quietly, and Frederic poured some in his glass. The manor servants, once told about the situation - which they vowed to keep secret - were struggling to refrain from calling Richard _'Your Highness'_. Everyone had been instructed not to mention anything about his past life, as not to confuse him even further.

"Richard," Asbel spoke between mouthfuls, "After we eat, I'll show you around the manor. We didn't have time for it yesterday, with how… complicated everything was, but we can catch up today." He smiled. "Maybe you'll remember something."

Richard's reply - a mumbled _"I hope so"_ - was not very encouraging, and Asbel's smile faded. They finished eating silently.

"We should take a look at the garden," Asbel said, trying to cheer the mood. As usual, Richard only replied with a nod, and stood without a word.

They stepped outside into a bright sunny day. "You know," Asbel started, "This is the place I first saw you smile. We were children, back then." As he spoke, he took Richard by the hand, guiding him around one of the fountains. "I challenged your sword instructor to a duel. Well, kind of." He chuckled, and in response, felt a soft squeeze on his hand. When he turned, he saw Richard smiling. "Yep. Just like that," he added, smiling as well.

"Thank you, Asbel."

"You don't have to thank me, Richard. Here, let's sit for a bit. It's a nice day, right?" He still held his hand.

"It is."

Sitting on the stone bench, they let silence fall around them - but this time, it was a welcome one. Enjoying the moment, Asbel felt no need for words. A gentle breeze was blowing, just cool enough to ward off the heat without being chilly. And Richard's fingers were intertwined with his.

Richard watched the fountain, the water glimmering under the sun; Asbel preferred to watch him. The subtle motion of his chest, the slow blinking of his eyes, the faint color in his cheeks - signs that he was alive. Even if he never remembered… No. Asbel would not think of that. He would make Richard remember, somehow. Everything they went through…

And his feelings.

"Hey, Richard…" It took his friend a moment before he snapped out of his daze, the fountain almost hypnotic. Once Asbel got his attention, he continued, "Do you… remember this?"

He held out Richard's ring.

"You… gave it to me. Well, lent it, actually. It's… a proof of our friendship."

Slowly, Richard took it. He ran his fingers over it, examining it closely. The green cryas stone shimmered in the bright daylight. "It's beautiful."

"It is. I always wear it. Even though you gave it to me when we were children, it still fits. Must be some sort of Amarcian technology," said Asbel, with a soft chuckle and a shy smile. "Well, whatever it is, it means a lot to me. I always looked at it whenever I missed you." Asbel let his words fade, and then waited eagerly; Richard was yet to answer his question.

"Are you… returning it?"

"What? No. I-I mean, if you want it back, I can return it. But… if you would like me to keep it… I'd be more than happy to," Asbel looked down, blushing.

Richard took Asbel's hand, with the palm open upwards. There, he placed the ring, and gently closed Asbel's fingers over it, covering them with his own hand. "Please keep it, Asbel. I may not remember giving it to you, but… I know I wouldn't want you to return it." Slowly, he let his hand go. "I… I want you to treasure it forever."

_He didn't remember._ "Thank you, Richard." _He didn't remember._ "I will." _He didn't remember._ "We should probably head back inside, the sun's getting a little strong." _He didn't remember._

Asbel had thought nothing would matter as long as Richard was there.

But it still hurt too much.

* * *

"Well?"

"Nothing."

There was a collective sigh. Cheria spoke, "Are you sure, Pascal? Don't tell me we came all the way here for nothing!"

Pascal was putting her instruments away. "Hey, don't get me wrong! There might be something bonkers with the Lastalia. But that's _way_ too much eleth in one place. Unless the change is super huge, my thingamajigs won't be able to pick it up!"

"Can't you create a machine that's more sensitive?" Malik asked.

Pascal smiled. "I sure could! But sensitive enough to be of much use against that blue giant? No way!" She crossed her arms. "I knew measuring the core's eleth was lost game. I was actually hoping we would find… well, something more, I dunno… obvious! But we didn't. We're screwed."

"That's ridiculous," Hubert scoffed. "There must be something we can find. If not here, maybe back at the island. Or even in the cocoon."

"Yeah, I guess we could try," said Pascal, "We never did get to explore the whole island, anyway. Got all caught up in the whole Richard-rising-from-the-grave deal. By the way, where's Sophie?"

"She's over there," Cheria pointed. "Sophie, is everything okay?"

The girl stood close to the Lastalia, staring at it blankly. It took a second call from Cheria before she turned. "Yes. I'm okay."

Cheria walked towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure? You look a little sad."

"I'm… I'm worried. About Asbel. I can feel something in the core."

Pascal jumped up. "Woah, Sophie! You can't keep gold from us! Watcha got?"

"I… I don't know. It's so tiny." She looked down. "Maybe it's just my imagination."

"It might not be," noted Hubert. "We should keep it in mind."

"We should!" agreed Pascal. "And we should get outta here. Nothing else to see. It's probably dark outside already."

Malik nodded. "And tomorrow, we must have an early start. If we are to investigate both the island and the cocoon, it will probably take days. Thankfully, the shuttle is well stocked enough."

"Is… is it a good idea, though?" Cheria asked. "To leave Richard in Lhant for so long, I mean. If we're not sure what he is…" Her gaze fell. "I don't think Asbel would be able to fight him if he turned out to be dangerous."

Hubert crossed his arms. "What would Lambda gain by attacking Lhant, though? Nothing," he said, pushing his glasses up. "I wouldn't be surprised if _that_ Richard was a decoy. Lambda may have created him to buy himself time. And, if he's hiding somewhere, we must find him before it is too late."

Malik turned to him, somewhat incredulous. "Hubert, you mean to say…"

"Yes. I mean to say that the real Richard is dead, and the man we left with Asbel is nothing but an empty shell made to fool us."

Cheria's eyes went wide. "If… if that is true, Asbel will be devastated." She gripped her skirt, looking down. "Can we… can we please not mention anything to him, until we are absolutely sure? I don't want Asbel to suffer… more than he already did."

"We don't have time to stop by Lhant, anyway," replied Hubert. "We should leave this place now. It's late, and there's nothing else for us to see."

They nodded, and began walking back towards the teleporter. Sophie was the last to leave, sparing one last glance at the Lastalia, hoping the suspicions in the back of her mind were wrong.

* * *

Asbel spent the following days desperately trying to make Richard remember, and hopelessly failing. He reenacted their first meeting, coming into the guest room through the window; he retold their most important moments together: the visit to Lhant Hill, the friendship pact, the tour across Barona, the journey to Gralesyde (he omitted the parts about Richard's royal blood, of course); and he even dared take him around Lhant, once he was properly in disguise. But all was to no avail.

If that wasn't enough, Richard's insomnia had been growing worse. Every morning, he would emerge from his room with heavy lids and a tired expression, yet all of Asbel's questions were met with _"Nothing is wrong"_, _"Please don't worry about me"_, and vague nods. The lack of sleep gave him headaches throughout the day, which Richard would dismiss just as firmly, even as he rubbed his temples and closed his eyes.

Sometimes, Asbel thought Richard avoided him, finding excuses to retire to his room and disappear for hours at a time. But those episodes were always followed by Richard seeking him out, nervously clinging to him and begging for reassurance that Asbel would stay by his side. Asbel never failed to do it, holding him tightly and whispering promises of forever; on his shoulder, Richard seemed to weep, but whenever they stepped away, there were no tears in his eyes.

And never, at any time, he remembered.

Asbel was running out of options, and becoming desperate. Almost a week had passed since his friends left to search for clues, and if they returned to find Richard had been unable to recall anything, they would be further convinced he was a fake. Of course, Asbel would stand by Richard no matter what - he _knew_ who he was, his friend, his best friend, even if his memories were gone - but if the rest of the group refused to see it… What would they try to do?

Finally, Asbel decided only one option remained: taking Richard to Lhant Hill. It had been an idea that crossed his mind as soon as he started trying to make him remember, but one he had avoided due to the possible dangers involved. It was one thing to take Richard through a quick tour around Lhant; crossing the city, traveling through the road, and climbing the hill was another entirely. Richard was unstable and fragile, and even though Asbel by himself could make quick work of any monster that came their way, doing the same while protecting a frail Richard could be tricky.

But at this point, he had no choice. And so, that afternoon, as they were taking a walk through the garden, Asbel said, "I have somewhere I want to take you, Richard."

Richard eyed him curiously, waiting. Asbel continued, "It's… outside of town, actually. It would be good to leave now so we can return before nightfall. Is that okay with you?"

As usual, Richard only nodded. Asbel handed him the hooded cloak he already had on his bag, and once his face was properly concealed, they set off.

The journey along the road was uneventful - no nova monsters had been left alive this close to Lhant, and the region's creatures were no match for Asbel. Richard knew to stay close, and although he was a little startled by the occasional attacks, none really scared him. Climbing the hill was a little more troublesome due to the narrow path, yet still manageable. It was a matter of time before Asbel sighted the tree in the distance.

"We're almost there!" Excited, Asbel took Richard's hand, and dashed towards the top.

They were panting upon arriving, but the view made them forget the exertion. The flower field stretched beneath their eyes - bright greens, yellows and reds, and above all purples and pinks - each shade vibrant under the sun, swaying gently to a soft breeze. The tree stood right before the cliff, huge and majestic, ruling over this little stretch of nature. And, in the distance, the ocean's blue-green surface was rippling with small waves that glistened with reflected light.

Asbel felt Richard's hand squeeze his and then relax. He glanced at his face, and found him smiling as he took in the view, his expression serene and content. Seeing Richard like that was enough to make Asbel believe the journey had been worth it.

"What do you think, Richard?" Asbel couldn't help but grin. "Breathtaking, isn't it?"

With his eyes still on the scenery, Richard's smile grew even brighter, and his hand shifted in Asbel's in his usual motion of interlocking their fingers. He then turned, eyes shining, and said, "Thank you, Asbel."

Asbel's heart pounded in his chest. "You haven't seen anything yet. Come!" He took off towards the tree, guiding Richard by their still interwoven fingers. Flowers ruffled against the fabric of his clothes, and the air itself carried a sweet scent, mixed with the salt from the ocean. Everything was brimming with life, and once more Asbel was reminded of the warmth of Richard's hand. No matter how many times he held it, he would never stop treasuring the signs that he was alive.

"Here," Asbel said, as they stopped in front of the tree. "Look, Richard."

Gazing intently at the carving on the trunk, Richard took a step closer. "They're… our names."

"Yes," Asbel breathed, anxiety rising in his gut. "And Sophie's… the girl with the long pigtails. We carved them here eight years ago." He waited, trying not to fidget.

Richard placed one of his hands over the bark, and slowly ran his fingers over it. He felt the hollow dents that made Sophie's name, then his, then Asbel's. His fingertips traced the letters, his movements so gentle it seemed as if he was afraid of damaging the ancient tree.

"We… we made a pact, Richard," Asbel spoke, unable to bear the silence. "We promised we would always be friends." His words were labored, struggling to get past his tightening throat. "Always, no matter what happened."

Richard withdrew his hand from the trunk, as slowly as he had done when he approached it. "Always," he muttered under his breath, before continuing only a little louder, "Asbel… thank you for taking me here. This place, this view… I have never seen anything this beautiful. Being here… makes me happy."

"D-Did you remember, Richard?" Asbel asked, eyes wide.

"I…" Richard trailed off, his gaze falling. "I'm… I'm sorry, Asbel. I feel happy being here… above all, I feel happy being with you. But I… I could not remember." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Asbel bit his lip, blinking back the moisture in his eyes. "I-It's fine," he mumbled, though his tone said otherwise. "It doesn't matter. Let's go back. There's no point staying here." He turned, brushing his eyes with one hand, and taking the first step away from the tree.

"No… Asbel, wait!" Richard shuffled after him, grabbing at his sleeve and making him stop on his tracks. "Asbel… I am so sorry. I know how important it is for you that I remember, but… No matter how hard I try, I cannot. Nothing ever comes to me. I feel as if there is a void in my brain. I want to remember, I want it so terribly, and yet whenever I try my mind goes blank and my head hurts so much it feels as if it will shatter.

"And I'm so scared, Asbel. I feel so lost. Everything in the world feels so dark and strange, everything but you. You are the only light I have, and yet I only make you suffer. I forgot everything, and I do not know if I will ever be able to go back to being the person you wish I were. I don't know if I will ever be able to make you truly happy, even though you are all the happiness I have in my life."

Richard's words faded into silence. Asbel stared at him, his downcast face covered by golden locks, his hand still gripping Asbel's sleeve weakly. How could he fail to see? How could he not notice that Richard's inability to remember was hurting him as much as it hurt Asbel?

"Richard… Richard, I'm the one who's sorry." He took a step forward, brushing strands of hair from Richard's face and cupping his cheek. "I was selfish… I never realized what you were feeling. It's true I wish you would remember, but to have you here, by my side, is more than I could ever ask for. When you were gone, it felt like a part of me was missing. I couldn't feel anything other than sadness and anger. Only when I found you I was able to feel happy again." Richard's eyes were locked on his, eyes so bright, so full of life. "You already make me so happy. So please, don't worry about it anymore."

Wanting to comfort his friend, Asbel leaned in, moving his hands over Richard's shoulders in order to embrace him. However, as his face was about to move past Richard's, he shifted in his arms…

And gently pressed a kiss against Asbel's lips.

For a moment, Asbel froze. Everything seemed to grow still around him; he no longer felt the wind ruffling his hair, the sun warming his skin, or the smell of the sea. All he could feel was Richard's lips against his, so unbelievably soft… yet in a moment, they were gone.

Richard backed away after barely a second, blushing and attempting to apologize - but before a word could leave his mouth, he was silenced by Asbel's lips. Asbel pulled him close, returning his chaste kiss with so much fervor it bordered on desperation. Richard was shocked at first, nervous and hesitant at Asbel's sudden display of passion, but he soon relaxed in his arms and poured his own feelings into the kiss.

Asbel clung to him madly, taking in Richard's warm breathing on his lips, the fluttering of his eyelashes on his cheeks, the motion of his chest against his own. Alive, alive, Richard was _alive_, alive and holding him and _kissing_ him and nothing else mattered, even if he never remembered his past. And it _was_ Richard and no one could tell him otherwise, it had to be him, for no one but Richard could be this gentle and sweet, no one but Richard could love him so much that even after losing his memories his feelings remained.

And by the time Asbel realized it, hot tears were rolling down his cheeks, and Richard was breaking the kiss to ask him what was wrong, why he was crying, what he could do to make him feel better.

Asbel leaned his head on Richard's shoulder, holding him tightly and feeling his embrace in return. He waited for the tears to stop before he whispered a shaky "I-I'm fine." He paused, allowing his breathing to slow a bit. "I'm sorry for worrying you, Richard. I'm actually… really happy." Finally, he lifted his head, so he could look Richard in the eyes. "I love you."

Richard smiled, the brightest, most genuine smile Asbel had ever seen, and his own heart swelled with happiness. How different it was to say those words, and have them heard; how different to see a warm smile in return, instead of having them spoken to a cold body unable to respond. And, as Richard replied, _"I love you, Asbel,"_ he also thought of how different it was to hear those words from lips that were warm and living.

They stayed at the hill until sunset, and walked back to Lhant hand in hand. Asbel's fears were seeping away - he now knew Richard still loved him, and even if he never did remember, they would always have each other, and in time, new memories would be made.

But at the back of his mind, there was something Asbel still dreaded: the force that brought Richard back to life, and the plans it had for him.


	5. When Pain Becomes Unbearable

**Chapter 5**

**When Pain Becomes Unbearable**

He was in a laboratory.

Everything around him was tinted a pale green hue. His surroundings consisted of metallic shapes, panels covered in buttons, and bright computer screens. A woman typed furiously, her expression a mask, but hidden anger in her eyes. Yet even as she mashed the keys, he could not hear any sound. He raised one of his hands, and touched glass in front of him. To his shock, he realized he was trapped, floating inside a large tube in a sickly green liquid.

The woman turned to him, and smiled the most cruel, hideous smirk he had ever seen. She pressed a button, and the liquid around him seemed to turn into a million needles that pierced his skin, making him feel immense, indescribable pain. His throat tightened, he could no longer breathe, and everything faded to nothing.

Richard woke with a scream.

His skin was clammy with sweat, and his breath came in pants. The dark room around him looked terrifying, and he half expected that woman, with her wicked smirk, to be hiding in any corner. He scrambled to the side of his bed, and lighted an eleth lamp.

The soft glow helped steady his breathing, but he realized he was shaking. He pressed his arms against his chest, as if hugging himself, and bit his lip. He needed to get everything under control - if he was still in this state by the time…

_"Richard!"_

Asbel burst his door open, not even bothering to knock, and still wearing his nightclothes. Richard immediately relaxed his arms and tried to wipe the sweat from his brow in the most inconspicuous manner possible.

"Are you okay? I heard you scream!" Asbel rushed to his side, sitting on his bed. His auburn hair was even messier than usual; it was clear he had jumped out of bed and headed straight for the guest room as soon as he heard Richard's voice. "Your face is all wet! Did you have a nightmare?" He gently cupped Richard's cheek, running his thumb over his moist skin. After their visit to Lhant Hill in the previous afternoon, they had grown closer, and they did not spare displays of affection when they were alone.

Richard closed his eyes and cherished the comforting warmth of Asbel's hand. Despite his sweating, he felt cold; he couldn't help but lean against Asbel's chest, smiling as he felt Asbel's arms embrace him. "Thank you for coming, Asbel," he said softly, "But there's no need to worry. It was only a dream." He was lying. It had felt like something _more_ than a dream, and he still was terrified. Yet he did not dare reveal it to Asbel.

Asbel pulled him closer. "Even if it was only a dream, Richard, you've barely been sleeping lately. You keep saying you're okay, but you always look tired. Have you been waking up every night from nightmares?"

Richard avoided Asbel's eyes. He _had_ been waking up every night, his sleep constantly plagued by strange dreams. But none had been so vivid, so terrible. The pain he had felt still burned in his mind, and the agony of suffocating had been too real. "It's… it's true I haven't been sleeping too well, Asbel," he said, mustering an awkward smile, "Maybe I'm still getting used to the bed."

Asbel, however, remained serious. "You didn't answer my question, Richard. Have you been having nightmares every night?"

Richard's gaze fell, and he did not answer.

"That's it. I'm going to sleep in this room from now on." With that, Asbel slipped under the blankets, looking at Richard defiantly.

Richard's mouth was agape, and he had to compose himself before saying, "Asbel… Please, I don't want to trouble you."

"What trouble, Richard? This is a double bed. It has room enough for us both."

"I know. What I mean is that…" - he gripped the blankets - "As much as I enjoy your company, I'm not sure if you being here will stop my dreaming. I might wake you in the middle of the night."

Asbel smiled playfully. "Like you just did? At least I won't have to go downstairs to check on you. You'll be right by my side."

Richard's eyes were still downcast. "But I might toss around, and disrupt your sleeping somehow. I… I do not want to be a burden."

"If you don't let me stay here, Richard, I'll spend all night worrying about you, and _then_ I won't sleep at all." He took his hand. "If you have a nightmare, I'll hold you and comfort you, and you'll be able to go back to sleep in no time. And… I'm sure I'll sleep a lot better if I can feel you next to me, as well."

Finally, Richard looked up at Asbel, his mouth curving into a smile. Asbel smiled in return, pressed a kiss to his lips, and turned off the light.

For hours, they slept. It was still dark when Asbel was awakened by a muffled sound. His initial reaction was fright, for his surroundings were strange, but he calmed down after remembering he had moved to the guestroom in order to spend the night with Richard. Relaxing, he glanced at Richard's outline in the dim light.

And realized his mouth was moving in his sleep.

Asbel's first impulse was to wake him immediately, but he forced himself to wait. Richard's lips moved precisely, forming what ought to be clear words, and yet only mumbles and groans left his mouth. But soon, maybe… maybe he would actually speak. And if Asbel could hear what he was trying to say…

His fingers tensed around the sheets; how could he still suspect Richard? How could he doubt him after their visit to Lhant Hill? And yet… the dreams… Asbel knew Richard's feelings were genuine; they had to be. But _something_ was still wrong with him, and Asbel had to find out what in order to help him.

Therefore, he leaned down, placing his ear less than an inch above Richard's lips. Still, all he could hear was his breathing, and incoherent whispers, too vague for Asbel to make any sense out of them. He insisted, remaining in that position even as his arms grew sore, even as Richard's expression contorted and his body trembled as if in a nightmare. It was hard to resist the urge to wake him, but Asbel endured. He needed answers.

Richard's mouth no longer formed words; he only gasped and whimpered, his lips trembling, his arms flailing. Unable to take it anymore, Asbel shook him awake, murmuring, _"Richard, Richard!"_

However, in the split moment before Richard opened his eyes, Asbel was able to hear one single, unmistakable word:

_Cornell._

Then, Richard finally woke, panting and clinging to Asbel, hoping for his protective embrace. He complied, whispering softly, "It's okay, it's okay," repeating the words over and over, trying to soothe not only Richard, but also himself.

* * *

The next time Asbel opened his eyes, it was already morning. Richard was awake, half-seated, staring blankly at the distance.

Asbel blinked back the sleep, and mumbled a soft "Richard." There was, however, no response. Rubbing his eyes, he spoke a little louder, _"Richard."_ Once more, Richard did not stir, his eyes still focused on the empty space in front of him. Terror suddenly had Asbel wide awake, and he shuffled to sit, grabbing Richard by the shoulders while almost shouting, _"Richard!"_

Finally, he broke out of his daze, and turned to Asbel in surprise, "A-Asbel?"

Sighing in relief, Asbel threw his arms around him, pulling him close. "You scared me. I called you twice, and you didn't react at all. You only sat there, staring at nowhere, not moving a muscle. I-I thought…" He buried his face on the crook of Richard's neck, and the rest of his words were lost in a mumble.

"Asbel…" He returned the embrace, running his fingers through messy auburn locks. "I'm sorry, I… I was distracted. Forgive me…"

"I-It's fine," he muttered, moving away so he could look Richard in the eyes, "It's not your fault. I… I overreacted." He smiled weakly. "I don't want you to feel bad about it."

"I promise I will be more attentive from now on," he replied softly, trying to smile despite the hint of sorrow in his eyes. "I… I love you."

Asbel blinked, taken aback by the sudden declaration, but surprise soon faded from his expression to reveal a beaming smile. He pulled Richard into a deep, slow kiss, and whispered _"I love you too"_ against his lips when they finally moved away. Asbel looked into Richard's eyes, and found his expression had lightened up; he seemed to have forgotten whatever had been troubling him. Still smiling, Asbel said, "I'm going back to my room to change, okay? Later on, I'll move my clothes and stuff to this room."

Richard nodded happily in response, returning the smile. Asbel leaned in, pecked him on the lips, and said, "See you at breakfast."

A while later, they ate among conversation. It was all meaningless chatter, yet Asbel was glad Richard had become more talkative - at least around him. He still avoided speaking to others, even to Lady Kerri, and he had trouble maintaining eye contact with them, as well. But to Asbel, he spoke without qualms, looking deep into his eyes.

However… sometimes, over the next couple days, Richard would grow quiet all of a sudden, turning away and clenching his fists. He did not react even when Asbel spoke to him, and whenever he finally returned to himself, his eyes would be filled with fear.

And then, Richard would ask Asbel about his past.

Anxiously, hesitantly, or desperately. Gripping his sleeve, clinging to his arm, or not daring to touch him. In hushed tones, faint whispers, or loud pleads. But he would ask. What kind of person was he? Where did he use to live? How had he disappeared?

Asbel could never bring himself to answer fully. He would repeat the same tales of how they met, recount stories of small things they did together, but he always avoided larger issues - what Richard was, what he had done… and his death. How could Asbel tell him that he had been the one who killed him, that he had watched him die in his arms, that Richard had faded away under his very eyes?

Therefore, no matter how many questions Richard asked, he was always left without the answers he sought. Eventually, he gave up on inquiring, but his apprehension never faded. It only seemed to grow worse.

And so did his headaches. They would flare throughout the day, often making Richard scream in agony, and if anyone tried to rush to his side and help, he violently pushed them away. Not even Asbel could stay close to him at those times; Richard would yell at him, and the one time Asbel insisted on helping, he was slapped with such force he dropped to the floor.

After this particular incident, Richard, with wide and terrified eyes, disappeared into his room. Once the ringing pain in Asbel's face faded to a dull throb, he knocked on the door, but received no answer. He called Richard's name, begged to be let inside, pounded his fists on the door until they were more bruised than his slapped cheek. But it was to no avail.

Unwilling to give up, Asbel darted out of the house, planning on trying the window. The curtains were closed, but it was left unlocked. Glad that he wouldn't have to break the glass, he quickly jumped in.

The curtains flapped as he stepped inside, closing behind him. The room was dark, and the atmosphere felt heavy. Asbel's first instinct was to open the curtains to allow some sunlight in, but when he realized Richard wasn't in plain sight, he forgot about the dimness and frantically searched for him.

Richard was huddled in a corner, sitting with his knees bent and his face buried in them, clutching his head with both hands. He was trembling. Asbel's initial impulse was to dash to his side, but afraid that it might startle him, he approached slowly instead. Richard seemed to take no notice of when he sat next to him. Hesitantly, Asbel touched his shoulder, and Richard visibly flinched at the motion. But he remained with his face hidden.

"Richard," Asbel's voice was gentle and soft, despite the terror welling in his gut, "Richard, look at me."

It took a moment, but Richard slowly lifted his head and turned to Asbel. Dim light reflected the wet trails on his cheeks. His eyes were glassy and full of fear. He did not speak.

"Richard…" Not knowing what to say, Asbel slid his arms around him, pulling him close. Richard choked back a sob as he buried his face into his shoulder, and Asbel felt warm tears on his skin.

"I-I'm so sorry," Richard muttered between sobs, "I don't know what's happening to me."

Asbel blinked back the moisture in his eyes. "It's fine. Don't worry, it's fine."

"It hurts so much. It feels as if my skull is shattering."

Asbel did not reply. He ran his fingers through Richard's hair, trying to comfort him, even when he was just as terrified himself.

"There's something wrong with me," Richard continued, his voice breaking, "The dreams. They're horrible. And so real. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to sleep ever again."

Asbel opened his mouth, but not a word came out. He bit his lip, and pulled Richard closer.

"But when I'm awake, my head hurts. No matter what I do, it haunts me. It's always there." His voice died to a murmur. "Always there."

Richard grew silent. Asbel didn't know what to say, but he knew he had to say something. Anything. Oh, anything, anything to make Richard stop suffering, anything to free him of his fears. But what? What could he say, what could he do? How could he save Richard from the invisible? How could he save Richard from himself?

"Maybe I'm going mad, Asbel. Maybe I'm losing my mind." He clutched the front of Asbel's shirt so strongly his fists were shaking. After a deep breath, he murmured, "You should kill me before I hurt you again."

Asbel stared at him with terror and disbelief, his voice rising to a scream; "NO!"- _No, no, no, anything but that!_ - "Don't say that, Richard! Don't talk about it, don't even… Never, Richard, never… Please don't. Anything, I'll do anything, anything but that." He was crying, gripping Richard's shoulders, looking into his eyes through the blur of his tears. "I'll do anything for you, Richard. Whatever you want, I'll do it. But please don't say you want to die. Please." _Not again. Please, not again._

Richard looked at him with wide, surprised eyes. He remained in silence for a while, his gaze falling. And then, finally, he spoke:

"What I want… is to go away."

* * *

Aboard the shuttle, a frustrated group flew. They had spent days inspecting every nook in every place that may have hidden clues, and yet their search had been largely fruitless. Only two pieces of information had been acquired: that the cocoon had grown in size, now taking up the World's Eye completely, and that the nova monsters located there seemed to be less active. Yet these two isolated facts not only seemed controversial, but they also provided no insight into their current problem.

Afterwards, they had headed to the Amarcian Enclave, where Fourier had given them the distressing news that her analysis had yielded nothing of value. Unwilling to return to Lhant empty-handed, they took Fourier along on a second search, but the result was the same. After dropping her back at the Enclave, they now headed to Lhant.

Only minutes from their destination, Sophie softly asked, "What will we do now?"

Sighing, Malik replied, "We still need to decide."

Hubert grumbled. "Is there _anything_ we haven't tried yet? It's hopeless."

"Geez, Little Bro, don't be so pessimistic." Despite her words, Pascal's tone lacked its usual cheeriness.

"Pascal is right," agreed Cheria, though she also had a hint of dejection in her eyes, "Maybe Asbel was able to make Richard remember something. If he did, we'll have something new to go on."

Hubert frowned. "Wishful thinking will get us nowhere."

"And neither will negativity!" retorted Cheria. "We're almost there. We can decide what to do next once we see how Richard is doing."

Hubert narrowed his eyes, but did not complain further. The rest of the group also seemed to agree.

And so, a while later, they were walking into the grounds of Lhant Manor. As soon as a servant sighted them, he ran into the house; almost immediately after, Frederic rushed out, exclaiming, "Oh, Master Hubert! Thank Gloandi you're here!"

The party was taken aback by his distressed look. Cheria quickly walked over and asked, "Grandpa, what's wrong?"

Frederic closed his eyes. "It's terrible, terrible! They're gone!"

_"What?"_ Hubert gasped, "Are you talking about…"

"Yes! Master Asbel and King—_Master_ Richard… they disappeared!"

"Calm down, Frederic," urged Malik, "Please tell us what happened in detail."

"Oh, I wish I could," he said, wiping the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief. "But no one knows. They left in the middle of the night. One of the guards said he saw two men taking the road towards the port, but that's the only lead we have."

Frederic had barely finished speaking before the party broke into a run towards the port.

* * *

"My lord, no boat of mine leaves in the middle of the night, I can assure you that."

Hubert's feet made a low tapping sound on the wood pier as he stood with his arms crossed. "We've asked every ship owner around here, and they all said that. _One_ of you must have taken them. And I absolutely must know where to!"

"I keep records of all my sails, my lord, as every businessman such as myself does. If they really left in the middle of the night, they probably took a private fisherboat. You should speak to the fishermen, my lord."

"A fisherboat. Fantastic." Hubert uncrossed his arms, balling his fists. "I see. Thank you for your time."

He walked back and joined the rest of the party. As soon as he got close, Malik asked, "Well?"

"Same as before. He told me we should talk to the fishermen."

"Then to the fishermen we talk," said Cheria. The party nodded, and so their new round of asking around started.

Most of the fishers reacted with surprise at their questions. They claimed no one would lose a day of work to transport passengers without a hefty sum as compensation, and no passenger would be willing to pay so much instead of simply waiting until morning and taking the first ship. Over and over, the party was met with shaking heads and apologies.

Until one man had something different to say.

"Well, well," the old, ragged fisherman started, "I think I know the person who sailed with your friends. Last night, I was working in the docks, you see. Sorting through some cargo. I like to work late, you see. Not a morning person, not at all. That's why I do sorting work. No sailing for me. Oh, no, if you want to sail, you have to wake up early. I'd rather stay on ground. Stay in my bed. I work at night, see."

The _tap tap tap_ of Hubert's boot was growing faster. "Will you _please_ get to the point? We're pressed for time!"

"Oh, sorry, sorry. So I was in the docks, you see, when ol' Jon passed by. Well, Jon ain't actually old. We only call him ol' because—" Hubert coughed, and the man straightened himself. "Forgive me, m'lord. Well, Jon… In a proper hurry, he was. Getting his ship ready. I asked him what he was doing, leaving in the middle of the night. Man went pale when he heard me. He came up to me, all _hush hush_, telling me to keep my mouth shut. But ol' Jon is my pal, so he told me.

"Said those two lordlings came to him, shook him awake, asking him to take them somewhere. Jon wouldn't have any of it, so they threw him a fat purse of gald. Got Jon out of bed, all right. That much gald, worth a week of catch. A good week." He flashed a toothless grin, before continuing, "But when they told Jon where they wanted to go, he threw the purse right back at them. That was not enough money to take them there. They gave him another purse, though. Double the gald. Two weeks' worth now. Jon is a smart man. Filled his pockets, taking a couple lordlings on a novelty trip."

_"Where to?"_ Hubert demanded, gritting his teeth.

The man smiled wickedly, and as if telling the sour ending to a tale, he hissed, "The World's Eye."


	6. Darkness Concealed by Light

**Chapter 6**

**Darkness Concealed by Light**

It was dark inside the windowless cabin of the fishing boat, but Richard thought it must have been around dawn. Asbel was nestled in his arms, clinging to him in his sleep. The bed they shared was small, the mattress was lumpy, and the sheets were rough, but Richard felt comfortable. For the first in a long time, his head did not hurt, and he had slept through the night without nightmares.

Asbel, in turn, had not fallen asleep easily. After they set sail, he started to panic. Richard retired with him to the cabin, and held him close once they were alone, but Asbel still trembled in his arms. Even as they had lain on the bed, Asbel's eyes had been wide open, and over and over, he muttered, _"I made a mistake, I made a mistake."_ Richard whispered soothing words and pressed gentle kisses to his forehead, until his anxious mumbles faded into silence and he finally drifted off.

Richard fell asleep soon after, and he woke with a strange feeling of serenity. Even though he remembered the previous night vividly - how tense he had felt, and how terrified Asbel had been - it all seemed to be in a distant past. Now, he was… oddly content. It was as if something was instilling him with peace of mind.

Maybe it was because the voice in his head was finally silent.

Smiling, he brushed a few strands of hair from Asbel's face, and kissed his cheeks and lips until he slowly awakened. He did not open his eyes at first, instead focusing on embracing Richard and returning his kisses. Once they lay still in each other's arms, Asbel finally tried to blink back the sleep - and when the dim cabin came into focus, he jolted in shock.

"Asbel, be calm," Richard whispered, pulling him closer, "We took a boat last night, remember?"

Asbel breathed heavily against his neck, and nodded nervously. After a while, he moved so he could look Richard in the eyes, and muttered, "R-Richard, are you… are you sure that's where you want to go? It's… a dangerous place. Maybe we should go somewhere else. I will go anywhere with you, Richard. Anywhere you want in the world. Does it have to be there?"

Richard's expression grew somber, his gaze falling. "I'm sorry, Asbel. But… something is drawing me to the core. I feel as if a part of me is there, and I need it. That's why I've been having nightmares, and why my head was hurting so much. Now that I'm closer, I feel better already. Maybe, once we arrive there, I will go back to normal… I will recover my memories. I will be whole again." His voice faded to a whisper, as he added, "And I won't hurt you anymore."

Asbel closed his eyes, holding Richard tightly. He was afraid of what they were going to do - venturing into the core - but everything appeared small before the idea of losing Richard again. When he thought of the sound of Richard's screams as he woke from a nightmare, or the way his face contorted in pain as his headaches flared, or of the tears in his eyes as he told Asbel he wanted to die... going to the core seemed to be nothing in comparison. He failed to save Richard once, and he would never allow it to happen again.

"We should have breakfast and then go up to the deck," said Asbel, after pressing a quick kiss to Richard's lips. "We're probably not very far now."

Richard nodded, and they both shuffled out of the tiny bed. Asbel lit one of the eleth lamps as Richard retrieved some of the food they had brought in their bag. They ate silently and hurriedly, and as soon as they were done, they headed outside.

The sea breeze was cold against their skin, and their nostrils filled with the salty smell of the ocean. The fisherman - Jon - turned when he heard the wooden deck creak under their footsteps, and announced, "Morning, lovebirds." Despite the accuracy of his statement, it was meant as a joke; it did little to amuse his passengers, however. He straightened himself, and continued, "I'd ask you if you slept well, but in my humble cabin, I bet m'lords weren't very comfortable. I did warn you, though. Well, no matter. You can already see what you came here for."

Jon's finger pointed at the far distance. A giant, spherical structure loomed above the waters - the cocoon. "Impressive, eh? And some say it's been getting bigger. You can't even see the island anymore. That thing engulfed it completely."

Asbel shivered, and it wasn't because of the cold.

Richard took a step forward, eyes fixed on the cocoon, and asked, "How long until we arrive?"

"Arrive?" Jon repeated, and then gave a hearty chuckle. "M'lord, even when the World's Eye was nothing but a simple island, very few sailed these waters. When that cocoon appeared, some who were too curious for their own good dared get close… and most didn't live to tell the tale. The place is swarming with monsters. If you two want a better view, I can approach a little more, but not much."

Richard turned to him, his expression serious. "There are no monsters anymore. We _will_ land."

"No monsters? I wouldn't wager on that. Sorry, m'lord, I'm not—"

His words were cut short as Richard violently grabbed his collar and lifted him off the ground. "You misunderstand me. That was not a request." Jon squirmed to break free, but Richard kept an iron grip on him. "My companion and I will land. Whether you are aboard when we do so is inconsequential." Slowly, he began walking towards the edge of the deck, the fisherman still dangling in the air. "Would you rather sail us, or be thrown to the sharks?"

"P-Put me down, please!" he cried out, face pale and filled with terror. "I will take you wherever you want! Just please, let me go!"

Richard dropped him back on the deck, where he fell with a thump, shaking and on the brim of tears. For a moment, Richard stood, staring at the poor man, hardly believing what he had done; he turned quickly to avoid looking at him, and upon doing so, he met Asbel's wide, horrified eyes.

"A-Asbel…" Richard staggered in his direction, but Asbel clenched his fists and turned from him, walking away. Richard followed briskly, and once they were far enough from the fisherman, Asbel finally stopped, his back still facing Richard. Hesitantly, Richard placed a hand on his shoulder, and muttered, "I'm sorry, I… I was nervous. When he said he wouldn't take us there, all I thought of was the pain and the nightmares and… I lost my mind." He took a step closer, and yet he did not dare touch Asbel any further. "Please forgive me."

Asbel wiped his eyes, and finally turned to face him. Softly, he said, "I'll always forgive you, Richard. But please… promise it won't happen again." As he finished speaking, his gaze fell.

"Oh, Asbel… I promise. I promise." This time, Richard placed his arms around Asbel's waist, and leaned his head on his shoulder. Asbel quickly embraced him, pulling him closer. A long sigh left Richard's lips, and he murmured, "I'm going back to normal soon. Once I reach the core… Nothing like this will ever happen again. We'll be happy, Asbel. Together. Forever."

Asbel ran his fingers through Richard's hair, trying to believe his words would be proven true.

* * *

The cocoon stood, huge and impassive among the waves; before it, the small fishing boat felt almost insignificant. It circled the massive sphere slowly, its three occupants silent. There was no sign of life other than their nervous breathing. Even the ocean seemed to have no fish.

They had sailed almost half of the sphere's perimeter when Jon finally dared to speak. "My lord, forgive me, my lord, but I don't think, my lord, there will be anywhere for us to land, my lord." Ever since Richard's outburst, his casual behavior had grown rigid almost to the point of breaking.

"Keep circling," urged Richard, "There is still much of the cocoon for us to see. A passage will come by, eventually."

The fisherman's gaze fell. "Yes, my lord. As you command."

They carried on. Asbel held Richard's hand anxiously, his eyes never leaving the cocoon. Its uneven surface, its sickly color, everything reminded him of memories he would rather forget. But he could not run from them; if he wanted to save Richard, he would have to face his fears. Just like a year ago… but this time, he intended to succeed.

A soft gasp left his lips. In the distance, he spotted a darker patch in the cocoon - an opening.

"There it is," said Richard, a hint of triumph in his voice. "Take us there."

The fisherman grew pale at the idea of sailing _inside_ the cocoon, but the alternative was even worse, and therefore he obeyed. Slowly, they made their approach, the shadowed entrance growing clearer and more daunting every second. The bright daylight did not shine inside the cocoon, and when the boat passed by the arc in its shell, everything went dark. Their eyes adapted to the dimness, and soon they could see their surroundings. Asbel recognized the brownish hue of the cocoon, but the area they were at was unfamiliar to him. It was deathly quiet inside, and his hand tensed around the sheath of his sword, as if he expected a monster ambush at any moment.

Inside the cocoon, the ocean formed a river. However, everything around it consisted of steep, deformed cliffs; no shores were in sight. Thankfully, there was enough wind to carry them forward, and they sailed on, searching for somewhere to land, and watching for monsters. Richard seemed calmer than he had ever been.

It felt like forever before the river abruptly ended in a small beach, which gave way to a path that descended into darkness. Given how far they had sailed, Asbel assumed they were close to the center of the cocoon.

"We'll disembark here," announced Richard.

"M-My lord," Jon muttered, "The waters close to the beach might be too shallow. I fear my boat will get stuck."

Richard shot a glare at him, and without another complaint, the fisherman continued sailing towards the land. To his surprise, the boat proceeded smoothly, and was brought to a gentle stop upon reaching the sand. Richard jumped down and offered a hand to help Asbel, who soon followed. Then, Richard continued towards the dark path.

"Richard, wait…" Asbel scuffled to catch up to him, and discreetly whispered, "Shouldn't we take the fisherman with us? He might leave us behind if we don't." While distrusting people did not rest well within Asbel, it was clear that Jon was desperate to leave the cocoon, with or without them.

"Asbel…" Richard turned, and his serious expression melted into a soft smile. "You don't have to worry. Everything is going to be alright now that we're finally here." He took a step towards him, and kissed his lips. Asbel went red and jumped back; they were close enough for the fisherman to see. But Richard only chuckled at his reaction, and taking his hand, guided him along the path once more. "Come, Asbel. Soon, I'll have my memories."

Without a choice, Asbel complied.

The path they took was different, but the cocoon's surroundings were familiar to Asbel. The same twisted shapes, the same brownish hue. Except there were no monsters to be seen; not a sound could be heard other than their own footsteps. And on they went with their descent.

For a while, the more they walked, the darker their surroundings became; they appeared to be traveling inside a tunnel. Eventually, however, it seemed to be getting a little brighter as they went further. At first, Asbel thought his eyes were simply growing accustomed to the dark, but he soon realized that a distinct blue light was shining in the distance. They kept on, until the tunnel ended in bright, open space.

The Ghardia Shaft.

"We're here," muttered Richard, stepping out of the tunnel and onto a metal platform. He glanced downwards, from where the blue light was shining; its reflection on his eyes seemed to make his irises glow. "We must descend further."

"The… the teleporter will take us there," mumbled Asbel in response, as he left the tunnel and walked to his side.

Richard nodded vaguely, and started towards the center of the platform. Asbel, once more, followed him. When they stepped on the teleporter, light engulfed them, and their surroundings changed. The new area was as deserted as the previous one; all monsters seemed to have disappeared. They carried on, and everywhere was the same.

Asbel tried to take it as a good sign - fighting the powerful monsters of Ghardia Shaft by himself would be a difficult task - but the ominous silence unsettled him. He moved closer to Richard as they walked, until he could touch the back of his hand. Richard turned to him, smiling, and took Asbel's hand in his. "We're so close, Asbel. I'm incredibly happy. I will be able to remember each detail of how we met, every moment we shared, all that I've ever felt for you." Richard's hand moved so they could interlock fingers. "And I'll be free from everything that has been haunting me. We'll be together, with nothing in our way."

The fear in Asbel's heart melted away as he felt the warmth of Richard's hand. With their fingers intertwined, and looking at Richard's smile, it was easy to forget any hesitation. Besides, Asbel had come this far - he could not, _would not_, go back. "We really are almost there, Richard." Asbel gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm excited, too." _Or anxious, _but he brushed that thought away.

By then, the Lastalia was already in plain sight, huge and ominous. They only needed to go through one more teleporter, and they would reach it. However, when Asbel was about to step on it, Richard stopped him.

"Asbel, before we go… I would like to tell you something."

Surprised and slightly apprehensive, Asbel turned to him. "Yes, Richard?"

Richard took a step closer and embraced him. For a moment, Asbel was taken aback, but he soon returned it, holding him tightly. Once he did, Richard said, "Thank you for everything, Asbel. For never giving up on me, and staying by my side even though I had no memories. I'm sure that anyone else would have abandoned me, but you… you did not. You went through so much for me, without asking for anything in return."

Asbel felt his heartbeat increase in pace as he heard Richard's words. He pulled him closer, and whispered, "You… you don't have to thank me, Richard. I did it because I love you. Just having you by my side is more than enough reward."

Richard let out a long sigh against Asbel's neck, pressed a soft kiss to his skin, and moved back so he could look him in the eyes. "You have the purest heart in this world, Asbel. I will do anything to protect you. Even if everything is falling apart, I will protect you."

Asbel smiled brightly, his cheeks gaining a rosy tint. "Thank you, Richard. I will protect you, as well."

Richard's lips curved into a soft, almost melancholic smile, and he leaned in for a kiss. Asbel returned it gladly, but broke it before long. "C'mon, Richard. We can kiss after you recover your memories," said Asbel with a smile, taking Richard's hand and stepping on the teleporter.

As light engulfed them, Richard's gaze fell, and he muttered, "Yes, I suppose we can."

In a moment, they stood in front of the Lastalia. The pale blue light filled Asbel's mind with events he would rather forget, and the pain he had felt on that day was fresh in his chest. He gripped Richard's hand tightly as a reminder that it was all in the past, that Richard was by his side now, and that in a short while, everything would be alright.

Richard gave his hand a squeeze, and then let go of it. He took small steps forward, towards the Lastalia, his eyes on the ground and his expression scared; but soon he lifted his gaze, staring intently at the blue light, the fear gone and replaced by determination. As Richard walked towards the core, Asbel felt apprehension welling in his gut. _What am I nervous about? It's Richard._ If so, why was he so tense?_ He's only reclaiming his memories. They're in the core, he's only taking them back._ No, there was more to it. The headaches. The nightmares. Something was wrong._ No. No, everything will be fine. Everything will be fine._

Richard stopped, and raised his arms to the massive sphere of light, as if to embrace it. _Everything will be fine. _He closed his eyes, breathing heavily enough for Asbel to hear. _Everything will be fine. _Small tendrils of eleth emerged from the core, slowly making their way towards Richard. _Everything will be fine. Please, let this be over with!_

The pale blue tendrils touched Richard's hands, and he opened his eyes. Among the blueness, Asbel saw another color - red.

Richard's eyes were shining bright red.

In a split second, large eleth tendrils shot out of the core and enveloped Asbel. Everything around him became blinding blue light, and then faded to darkness.


	7. The Battle Within

**Chapter 7**

**The Battle Within**

As Richard watched Asbel fall unconscious to the ground, fear began to well inside him. He wanted to run to Asbel's side, but he had no power over his body; he had surrendered control, for he had been told it was needed.

Yes… _He_ had said it was the only way. If Richard did not comply, Asbel's life would be at stake. _He_ was the only one who could save Asbel. _He_ was the only one who could retrieve Richard's missing part.

Richard had always suspected something was wrong with him. He knew he was different, incomplete, broken. When he first saw Asbel, wandering aimlessly on his island, Richard thought - _hoped_ - that he was the one who could make him feel whole. And Asbel's presence did fill some of the emptiness inside Richard, but something… something was still wrong with him.

Yes, Richard's belief that he was broken was confirmed when he arrived in Lhant. On his first night at the Manor, his dreams had been strange, and many times he woke with odd images flashing in his mind. During the day, muffled whispers rang in his ears, too faint for any words to be discerned. And then came the headaches; they got worse as he attempted to remember, and he swore that sometimes, as the pain flared, the whispers said _"Give up."_

After Asbel took him to Lhant Hill, the dreams turned into nightmares, and the headaches became even more painful. The voice grew clearer; the whispers were no longer vague, and they spoke directly to him, going so far as answering the questions he had on his mind. Richard started to wonder if he was insane, and he dreaded what those around him would do if they ever found out.

But another part of him considered something else - that the dreams and the voice were related to his forgotten past. That they held the key to his salvation. That maybe… maybe, if he listened to it, the voice could help him.

As soon as this idea crossed his mind, the voice claimed the sole way for him to remember was heading to the World's Eye. Images of a giant blue orb flashed in his mind, and a burning desire to touch it was instilled in his heart. He tried to suppress it at first - the desire seemed to be filled with malicious intent, with feelings of hate and revenge, with darkness so deep it could drown the bright blue light. He did not want to succumb to it. It was threatening. It felt wrong.

But the voice - _He_ - was unyielding. On and on it pressured Richard, rambling about the core, about how it would free him of his nightmares, release him from his pain. It felt like a devil in his head, making promises that concealed too high a price. Richard resisted. He would resist for as long as he could.

Yet soon, he was driven to the breaking point. When his flaring headaches finally made him hurt Asbel, the voice had bellowed, _You will kill him. You will kill the man you love with your own hands, if you do not listen to me._

Finally, Richard conceded. To protect Asbel, he would do anything. Even when he suspected he wouldn't be able to pay the price.

After they departed from the Manor, Richard felt the voice's - _his_ - touch seeping into his body, affecting his words, his actions, even his thoughts. Sometimes, it terrified him, but _He_ would soothe Richard's emotions from within. Richard had the feeling he could try to resist - to push that subtle influence away, deny the meddling in his mind, tear the strings that moved his limbs. But he needed _his_ help to reach the core, and to retrieve the lost part of him. And so, every command _He_ uttered, Richard obeyed.

_He_ said there would come a time Richard would have to give _him_ full control. To step away into a corner of his mind as _He_ took over his body. That terrified Richard most of all - but it was the only way he could attain his memories, and therefore, the only way to protect Asbel.

And that time eventually arrived. Richard surrendered control to _him_. He could only watch as _He_ moved his body, stopping by the Lastalia, raising his arms to the giant sphere. Richard saw the tendrils of light extend towards him, felt the eleth coursing through his body. And then, _He_ made more tendrils appear out of the core - this time, in Asbel's direction, surrounding him, constricting him, until he crashed motionless against the floor.

Fear rose to terror.

Richard could not understand why _He_ attacked Asbel. Was there even any possible reason? Asbel wished for nothing other than to protect him. Asbel had always stood by him, gone to insurmountable lengths to help him. _Why?_

_"Answer me! Why did you attack him?"_ Richard could not scream, but the words he sent to the being who controlled his body were filled with frustration. He felt that other mind stir, and after a while, the answer came.

_"I have told you. Everything I do is for his own good."_

The words carried no emotion; the creature had been careful to shield his inner thoughts from Richard. It infuriated him._ "How could this benefit him? You hurt him! He isn't moving!"_

_"He is not hurt. And he could not remain awake through what will happen next."_

_"Why couldn't he remain awake? …No, it doesn't matter. Give me my body back. I need to make sure he is unharmed."_ Richard waited, but _He_ remained silent. _"Did you not hear me? Give me control! Now!"_

When the voice replied, its tone was commanding. _"I have told you, Richard. This is for his - and yours - own good. If you want to save him, and yourself, you must obey me. You should know this by now."_

Richard's fear was replaced by rage. _"I'm tired of your half-answers and excuses! No matter what I ask, you find a way to give me no information. I endured your secretiveness because I was desperate to protect Asbel. I put up with your ridiculous demands only so I could save him. And now, you attack him, and refuse to provide me with a why? I have given you everything you demanded, and what have I received in return? I can feel the eleth flowing through me, more and more each moment, but I haven't remembered anything yet. Do you expect me to sit still while the person I love most lies motionless by my side? Do you expect me to trust you after you broke every promise you made to me? I've had enough!"_

Richard reached out, reached for control over his body. He could feel _his_ resistance, _his_ relentless grip over his limbs, but Richard insisted, fought against the invisible barrier that attempted to drive him away, kept on until he felt it slowly breaking - for he had to save Asbel, had to, no matter how hard, how _impossible_ it was.

The barrier gave away, and Richard felt his mind recover command of his body - but it was not only his. _He_ was still there, fighting, trying to regain full control. Richard attempted to move his arms and sever the connection to the core, but they were locked in place. He felt his muscles strain under the two conflicting forces - one to move, one to remain still - and the connection seemed to falter, but it did not break, the Lastalia's eleth ceaselessly flowing into his body.

Richard grit his teeth, refusing to surrender. It was his turn to protect Asbel. He pushed further, not only his body, but also his mind. Asbel had done so much for him. He reached out, trying to seize as much control as he could. Asbel needed him. He fought with all his strength, and felt his enemy losing power, his influence over his body receding. The connection to the core weakened. He would save Asbel!

_"Fool!" _The voice resounded in his head, furious, but also afraid. _"Cease your resistance! Can you not see that you will only suffer if you do not obey me? My actions will protect you, Richard. Protect you from the endless cruelty that roams this world. Do you want to remain in pain and misery for the rest of your days? That shall be your fate if you do not hand me control!"_

Richard did not allow his resolve to falter under that string of lies. _"You promise an end to cruelty, and yet you hurt the purest person in the world. The world may not be gentle, but you are the one who brought upon me the greatest amount of pain. I have no reason to trust you anymore!" _Richard gave one more push, and the link between him and the core was almost at the breaking point. Soon, it would sever.

The being in his head burst with rage and desperation. _"You're but a fool who forgot what the world has done to you. You revel in your ingenuity, bask in your ignorance. You knew suffering, dark and bitter; you were no different than I." _

The voice went silent. The connection to the Lastalia quivered. Shifted. Changed.

_He_ spoke one last time,_ "You want your memories back, do you not? I suppose the moment to fulfill my promise has arrived!"_

Time slowed to a halt.

Richard's surroundings greyed. His eyes unfocused, his ears rang with unnatural silence. A trickle of knowledge seeped into his brain. The voice had a name.

_Lambda._

Richard felt Lambda reaching out, reaching inside the core. He searched. Probed. Retrieved. Another trickle of knowledge seeped into Richard's brain. Lambda had been living with him, for a long, long time. He had fed on Richard's suffering, fueled it with his own, used Richard's fears and doubts to manipulate him. Lambda extended further into the core, and seized something. Something that would help him take control of Richard once more. A year ago, Lambda had used Richard's haunted past to make him to do his bidding. An empty mind could not be exploited; therefore—

Richard thought his head would explode.

The dullness and the silence were replaced by a myriad of images and sounds, furiously flashing and reverberating one after the other, a torrent of information invading his brain. Disjointed and disembodied, they coalesced into scenes and memories, overlapping in waves of recollection. They burned in him, flooded every inch of his body, overloaded all his senses. He closed his eyes, yet broken images shone under his eyelids; he cupped his ears, yet screeching noises rang inside his head. Sharp scents filled his nose, pungent tastes soaked his tongue, fierce touches ran over his skin. He thought he was screaming, but he could not hear his own voice.

His knees gave away under his weight, and he fell, severing the connection to the core. Yet he hardly noticed it; he was unable to feel anything other than his own, shattering mind. Among the chaotic mess of memories, some were becoming clearer, rising over the rest. They were the harshest memories. The ones which haunted him the most.

Fainting in the Barona Catacombs at the tender age of twelve, believing he would not live to open his eyes again;

Watching his father be murdered under his own uncle's order;

Feeling cold steel pierce his skin at Wallbridge, and once more believing he had drawn his last breath.

These memories burned. He wondered how it had been possible to forget them. How humanity's selfishness, malice, and sheer cruelty could have been erased from his mind, when they had caused him so much suffering. He had been alone in his agony - only one being had been able to understand him, to share in his pain.

Lambda.

Richard could feel his presence in his head, quivering, slowly regaining strength. Lambda had also been weakened by the blast of memories, yet he was recovering, and preparing to seize control once more. Maybe, this time, Richard should allow it - Lambda's plan to purge humanity might be the only saving grace for such a wretched kind.

_No… not all of humanity. There is someone…_

It was hard to perceive individual memories when everything flickered continuously, but they were there. Memories that carried warmth instead of bitterness. Memories of someone who had reached out, proven himself to be different than the others. He had saved Richard, time and time again, risked his life for him, and yet denied any reward. He had wanted nothing more than to see Richard smile.

Asbel.

_He showed me that people can be caring, gentle, kind. You were wrong, Lambda. I will not fall prey to you again!_

Lambda's wrath roared. It flared, burned, tried to consume him. Richard held on, held on to his memories of Asbel, made them stand strong against the hateful thoughts Lambda attempted to instill in his mind. Against Lambda's darkness, he embraced Asbel's light. His past may have been plagued with terrible events - but there had also been moments he would treasure to the end of his days. He would not give in.

Confronting Lambda's assault was painful, and his inner fight made him thrash about the floor, groaning with agony. His whimpers were the only sound in the quiet of the deserted core. Except…

The soft noise of the teleporter permeated the silence, immediately followed by frantic footsteps. They approached, closer and closer, until they stopped, giving way to loud exclamations of surprise:

_"Asbel!"_

_"He's unconscious!"_

_"Stay back! Richard might be dangerous!"_

_"We need to help Asbel!"_

The desperate steps started again, and Richard struggled to open his eyes. It was hard to see reality with the myriad of flashing images in his brain, but after a while, his surroundings finally came into focus, and he was met with a distressing scene.

Asbel lay on the floor, motionless. Sophie, Hubert, Cheria, Pascal, and Malik all surrounded him. Sophie and Cheria were kneeling, their hands glowing as they attempted to heal Asbel; the others stood, poised to attack. No, not to attack - to defend. To defend against Richard.

"He isn't waking up!" Cheria's eyes shimmered with tears.

"Asbel! Asbel!" Sophie's shaky voice pierced Richard's ears.

Asbel remained unresponsive. Hubert knelt, joined in the healing, and yet the result did not change. Cheria's arte faltered for a moment as she let out a sob, and Sophie tilted her head downwards, her purple bangs covering her face. Hubert shook Asbel's shoulders. Nothing. Nothing.

_"He will die."_

Lambda's voice resounded in his head, ominous.

_"He will die unless I save him."_

Richard grit his teeth. It was a lie! He would not trust Lambda! Not anymore; never again!

_"You know I speak the truth, Richard. Look at him. Look at them. No matter how hard they try, they cannot wake him. Only I can heal him now. Give me control, and I will save his life."_

_"No!"_ Richard's vision was blurry with tears, Asbel's motionless body only a vague outline to his eyes. _"You are the one who hurt him to begin with! Why would you save him? You are lying! You always lie! Empty promises, exactly like those you claim to despise!"_

_"I am not lying. You are my host, Richard. Your need is my need. And I've seen how important that man is to you. I did not want to spare him at first, but if you truly need him by your side, I will do so - for you."_

Richard pressed his eyes shut, breathing hard against the floor. He tried to see Lambda's feelings through their connected minds, but they seemed to be behind a fog Richard could not penetrate. Was there any chance he meant what he said? No, no, it was a lie, it had to be a lie. He could not give in to Lambda. Asbel would never forgive him if he did.

_"Asbel will not live to grant you forgiveness."_

_"Shut up!"_

How much it hurt! The memories were flashing once more; stumbling in the catacombs, his chest burning from a gashing wound, his steps leaving a trail of his own blood on the ground, until he could no longer walk— and Asbel, suddenly there, rushing to his side… Asbel, the only one who would stand by him, the only one who always believed him, the only one who could love him… And if he died now, it would be Richard's fault. To kill the one person he had in his life; to go on completely and utterly alone.

Asbel still did not move. Richard's blood pounded in his ears, drowning out Sophie's and Cheria's cries.

He was so weak, so afraid, and… so despicable.

He gave in.


End file.
